also read - You have it,or you DOn'T

Just interacted with a very close friend of mine,who was doing his masters from the US,he belongs to the rare breed of people who really cared for me{that sure has been a rare species,after my accident} and genuinely wanted me to do good in, life..

And that made me decide, to write a blog explaining things about a topic,that i was myself , concerned about...the fact that all my fellow friends are doing well in their respective lives,here in india or abroad,and here i was struggling with my life,after my accident and like that friend was worried that i would fall way behind,in the race of life,when once i was matching shoulder to shoulder with them

And the reason for his concern, i suppose was ,before the time i had this accident, was studying engineering with these guys,and besides being a very active & fit person,who excelled in sports and as a person {according to my assessment}.. a very fun-friendly guy, someone who always had people around,biking his way,with a mimic of the 'harley' ...then to see that same person all alone for the past 4 and 1/2 years and in this predicament,sure will disturb a friend who does really care

but the thing that i ask myself is,does being good in life, only mean that i have a great qualification or a great job? because if only that is to be considered...am a LOSER...but isn't having had to suffer each day for the past 4 and 1/2 years, because what life had to offer,and not choosing to give in and putting up with it,with a smile & fighting out the challenges on a daily basis ...mean nothing?.. And not changing who you are and your beliefs,irrespective of the challenging situations,you have to deal with..doesn't that mean anything too?For i guess it shows character, and that is not a trait of a, loser...

but the thing i dont know how to make anyone understand what i like to believe, because i have nothing to prove that point to anyone but only to myself
"the thing is about having some faith&hoping everything will turn up well"

because worrying about a thing,that you dont have much say on, is not prudent enough,atleast according to me...and thinking much on it and taking added pressure because of it. is quite senseless..the thing is about faith,for which i cant find any reason,for having it... i can just compare myself of now,with the self who was bed ridden and in the wheelchair 4 and 1/2 years back.and one has to be really be blind to not spot the, difference

holding on to faith for the past 4 and 1/2 years,has not been easy even for me,and its twice that difficulty to make others have it ,for me and just wish that, they too will continue to have that belief in me and my judgements

its not as if, i have not set any AIM's for my life ...i had set an AIM that comes way before me trying to get ahead of others,which i had made when i was, certified a DISABLED which also stated my disability as permanent...the AIM was to get back to the normal life and to get to the normal world again...and i have been on that quest since a long time...and i reckon,am not too far...that atleast is only my belief, though...and that faith only adds up many folds knowing that, knowingly have never done any harm to anyone..that i will be ending up,all bad in the end..:)

but i choose to have faith,and believe that everything will turn up well and not just well,but awesome ..the thing about faith is
                                   "either you have it,or you don't"

And will end this,by saying "thank you" for all those people.. who had and still continue to be there or for the people who care for me or have at any point in time, prayed for me,just to let you know , all your smallest deeds has always been noted...thank you, especially to the people who had been there at the time when others felt it was better to desert me and leave{glad you are not in the 99% of people,i knew}...hope it still continues,even now and will have this, belief in me for a long time to come

also read - being unfair to DESTINY...:)

 the word DESTINY gives you a nice warm feeling ...but it doesn't take long for that picture to change...
      at times, i feel ..we are too unfair to it..because destiny...like i understand ,is the events that will necessarily happen with a person{good or bad}...but many of us don't remember about it,unless its remarkably a great achievement  ...but the moment things,start going against our way,even a little bit....we soon change it to FATE..and start complaining about it and if its really bad,curses are never far away, like that is the only reason responsible for our miseries
     but dont think many have the right to complain,only at their bad times

having an personal experience of spending, more than a year in depression,guess can say..what had made me to,feel the same way?  retrospecting , i realize..apart from the obvious reasons of disappointments ,having had the accident .and then the consequent life,which felt like HELL ...when life came to a virtual standstill when it was moving at 60 km/hr and being in the house  whole day and not knowing if ever i could see the world,in the same color..when these things added with the fact that, the very people,whom i really was counting on,decided to leave..that time i felt relieved to, curse my fate

but now its different ,in fact  after my days of depression...and even after having spent the past 4 and 1/2 years isolated inside my home,and still having difficulty walking  ..but if seeing my plight,if now anyone blames/curses my fate..i react with a smile because, can't tell them, what they are seeing is fun for me and the life am leading is a pleasure too ,and am enjoying it , NO spending 24 hrs in a day, 7 days a week for the past 4 and 1/2 years is not something a overactive person will like and i hate every small bit of it..

but deep down in my heart,i know for a fact that...i never complained when things were going right for me..be it for the cool life or for the people around, who seemed nice at that point in time or for the close shaves i might have had,before..
        then what right, do i have to curse destiny,if just for once, it took a bad turn...no matter as a result of it,i couldn't see/walk well or use my arm and as a result of it,i don't have, many people around

the thing i had to understand was that, things could have been a lot worse,as now i can see,walk,use my arm but only that, i couldn't use them well and just to be grateful, for that fact,because i don't know what i would have done without them

but i believe, it is LIFE .... DESTINY is just the trail, on which..one travels, afterall...
             “It is our CHOICES ,that determines our DESTINY  "


                                                                  - DEEPAK DEVARAJAN