Walking,is a task much complex and complicated,than it might seem.We don't remember the true difficulties,pertaining to learning it,for it is a skill that most might have learnt,when they would have been too young, to remember.At-least I didn't
If you think about the task of walking,you will realize what I mean.THE TASK OF WALKING..involves first in seeing where you want to go,then study the way to get there,then send that information to the brain,the brain then processes this information,and directs each leg to accordingly to follow its direction and constantly taking the feedback from the eyes,there is another very important aspect involved,all the while,we know it as,balance.Which is so very important in the whole process of walking,and that too is handled by the brain
Before 5 years, I myself hadn't known of this complexities,of walking.But it all changed after me having had this accident,and the head which had taken the brunt of the accident,and consequently having had to spend the next 2 months in COMA,and one of the fallouts of such an occurrence was it affected the factors,required for walking including the brain,and since then, walking has been a nightmare
For 5 years,haven't gone out of my house,alone.In short have been dependent on others for the smallest of things,if required to go out of my house.The first of the things I have to do,before asking for help is,to be differentiating the tasks I have to do,into the ones that are absolutely necessary and the ones that I could take care of later,when I could do them all by myself,when am alright.
But the deeds that would make me feel happy,like my wishes to roam,run freely or may to eat things of my choice.The feeling of, to be walking free without any restrictions,wherever I felt like,is only present in my distant memory."WISHES" comes in the absolutely not so necessary category,and something I have done without, these years.
My brain,I reckon was affected in that region which controlled my walk,and all the aspects regarding to it,like balance,coordination and also the region which processes the information from one's sight for walking,and because of it,walking is difficult and adding to it,my left knee has difficulty maintaining,that leg firms while walking.
But I could manage to walk,like everyone,but only for a short period,but if I had to go more than a few steps,like walking outside,I need to hold someone else's shoulder,for balance,and at home,if the distance is more the walls/doors are a very trusted support,to hold on to
The situation,was made worse because of the fact that at home,dad's health was not at its best,and my brother returned from work,late.So,invariably had to be dependent on others.And like they say.One truly can't be happy,if he is dependent on someone,for anything.But only in the first year after my accident,I realized that,99% of the people I thought,could be counted on,had changed .And learnt"people/friends change with situations"
So,entirely had to be dependent on the very few good souls,around.And,didn't want to over-burden,them, who were willing to help.
I know another fact now,all too well,for every small deed one needs to do,they need to move around,freely.And it is feeling of freedom ,without which nothing could ever make sense
The past memories,of being able to walk without looking to hold on,to anything,has been a feeling worth,going to any lengths to re-achieving that state again http://youtu.be/O-5h3vf_UQs {this although a small college show,but some fond memories}
And for a long time I have wanted to go for walks,not because anyone was asking me to,but because I wanted to be out of this misery,as soon as possible.In-fact if I had my wish,I wanted to go for jogs,in some nearby playground,by my place.But,then again I would have had to be dependent on others,and that would have caused others inconvenience,if at all anyone was willing to help
So,I could think of only one substitute to this.To get a threadmill and walk on it,where only my will was needed.And accordingly could get one,a month back,and have been walking on it,but as my balance was an issue,could only walk,holding on the support handles.But,had walked so much that I lost 9 kilograms,and after a month of walking holding the support handles
But I realized that,if I ever had to walk with freedom and alone,then I would have to learn walking without holding on to the support handles.Describing my first attempts walking,not holding the support handles,the first step with the right foot was relatively easy,as it involved,just the will to move forward,but the second step with the left foot,was not that easy,it required me in first having to give my foot a command to move forward,then when the weight on the body had to be put on the knee,there is a significant discomfort felt on my knees,and also with the balance part missing.The whole process is not a welcome one
But this repeated ordeal with every step,is no doubt a pain,but giving up would just mean,accepting defeat.And that is not an accepted option. So,better walk-walk and finally walk,free as WALK, I WILL ! !
